Family & Friends & Interpersonal
Categories underneath Family & Friends & Interpersonal:
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- Caregiver Burdens
- Compassion / Empathy
- Competition: Interpersonal
- Divorce / Death / Separation Issues
- Etiquette / Courtesy / Civility
- Grooming / Hygiene
- Interpersonal Relations: Other
- Dating / Sex / Chastity
- Promises (Interpersonal)
- Referrals / Recommendations / ...
- Responsibility / Blaming / Fault Finding ...
- Friends / Friendships
Articles and Resources
Date Fairness.com Resource Read it at: Feb 11, 2007 BAD TRANSLATION
QUOTE: Although your father was only following orders (sorry, just doing his job), he must subject his actions to moral scrutiny. Because those pages were ill-gotten and their possession violated the privacy of the diarist (albeit a two-timing diarist), your dad should have declined the job...If the college has such a (silly) policy, nobody is doing anything unethical; if not, the coaches should be rebuked for encouraging deceit.
Jan 28, 2007 Faith at Work (The Ethicist)
QUOTE: For the law to retreat from making such judgments, even the most straightforward ones, allows religious freedom to mutate into religious discrimination .... Since the job calls for chitchat with status-conscious clients, your boss might have been emphasizing the importance of finding someone -- of any ethnicity -- who speaks standard English with sufficient ease...
New York Times Jan 21, 2007 AN EX TAKES THE SPOT
QUOTE: You may not sabotage, or even unsettle, this guy's career because you used to go together. You may ask him to reconsider out of deference to your feelings or concern for his own tranquillity, but that's between the two of you .... If you were not making a general observation that a rising tide (of gravy) benefits all boats financially but were instead proposing to kick back some cash to the manager in exchange for referrals, then your wife is right: This is a bribe, and you were unethical to offer it.
Jan 14, 2007 MY DOCTOR THE LOBBYIST
QUOTE: It is not legal for a doctor to pass along patient information to political activists .... If you profit directly from someone's work, you have an ethical obligation to pay that person even when the law does not compel it.
Dec 31, 2006 FULL DISCLOSURE, FIANCEE VERSION
QUOTE: Yes, you must tell your fiancee for the reason you note, so she doesn't feel uncomfortable .... A solo workout is not the wisest use of shared public space, perhaps, but "inefficient" is not a synonym for "unethical."
Dec 17, 2006 AWKWARD DANCE
QUOTE: This does make you a racist -- not in the sense of exercising a virulent antipathy toward African-Americans, but of being, like most of us, affected by feelings about race .... this may be a transgression that the buyers themselves can respond to effectively...
Dec 10, 2006 REVERSE PLAY
QUOTE: If the seller had time to find another buyer, then it was reasonable to withdraw your offer .... Your friend has a legal obligation to pay what she owes the contractor, no matter how badly the contractor treats other people, even you.
Nov 26, 2006 YARMULKE RUSE
QUOTE: What's most lamentable about your scheme is not its hypocrisy -- although there is that -- but its deceit: You would present yourself to be what you are not, someone who regularly wears a yarmulke, an object of religious significance .... The car broke down on your watch: You and your friends pay.
uExpress Nov 19, 2006 DUELING SCHOOLING
QUOTE: Your older daughter earned a place in the gifted school on her merits. You should not deprive her of that in the hope of giving her sister a leg up. .... Tell them -- but wait until the end of the term, so that until then they can consider ethical ideas on their merits, unaffected by their teacher's convictions. This is less a matter of ethics -- you have no obligation to reveal your beliefs to your students -- than pedagogy.
uExpress Nov 12, 2006 CAUSE OF DEATH?
QUOTE: It would be insensitive to demand this information from a widow awash in grief but not unethical to seek it yourself. .... You must seek care for the cat if it is suffering or if its condition is deteriorating, and both seem possible.
uExpress Nov 05, 2006 CZECHED OUT
QUOTE: even if he declines to share the effort, expense and uncertainty, his portion of the property remains his; it is not yours to bestow or withhold. .... Reporting this is something you may do but not something you must do. Because the company's transgressions are unrelated to your professional duties, you have no more obligation to respond to them than any other employee does.
uExpress Oct 29, 2006 THE RELIGION SHIFT
QUOTE: It is vexing to draw an unwanted weekend shift, even when this is, as you note, a rare occurrence. But unappealing is not a synonym for unethical: Your department does no wrong .... parents should be told about practices that a reasonable person might find dubious.
uExpress Oct 22, 2006 A SUICIDAL CLIENT?
QUOTE:If your potential client has made a reasoned choice for suicide, your task is not to dissuade her (you are, as you suggest, not a trained therapist) but to provide legal advice, to help her get her affairs in order. .... The point isn't where she wrote an anti-Semitic screed but that she wrote it at all. You should not let this pass without comment, but tattling to her boss is inappropriate.
uExpress Sep 24, 2006 HIRE GOOD
QUOTE: Alas, it is not legal to rehire this employee, and you may not ethically do so .... It is your bike, and your co-worker should return it. The law might not demand it -- this was a legal sale -- but ethics does.
New York Times Sep 17, 2006 DR. DECEIT
QUOTE: Doctors may not lie to patients, even for their own good .... Here's a chance for your housecleaner to earn a little more and you to pay a little less than before. Everybody wins.
New York Times Sep 10, 2006 LEAVING WORK
QUOTE: Maternity benefits are not an advance payment on future work; they are better seen as compensation already earned, akin to health-care benefits or accumulated vacation days. There is nothing dishonorable in your not returning or unseemly about your current uncertainty .... I admire your work for the food bank, but you should stop skimming pastry.
New York Times Sep 03, 2006 BAD BIDNESS
QUOTE: Such mischief undermines the purpose of the auction -- to let an open market establish an item's price, a process accepted (at least implicitly) by all participants. Your tempter proposes breaking this agreement, covertly violating the terms under which the seller offered the prints .... Your ethical instincts are excellent -- you should not help someone use a false address to get a bogus license -- but your interpretation of Arizona motor-vehicle law is flawed.
New York Times Aug 31, 2006 Focus on the Family: Ford's attempt at edgy advertising prompts debate.
QUOTE: While there were those who criticize Ford for treading down a slippery moral slope, most readers applaud a company willing to acknowledge the statistical and social realities of divorce—and, more important, provide a role model for divorced couples who engage with one another in a civil manner.
Slate Aug 27, 2006 A SISTER'S DEBTS
QUOTE: The law requires your late sister's estate to meet her business obligations; ethics urges you as an individual to respond to her personal obligations. .... If you find something likely to harm other people, you should not simply return it. ("Excuse me, sir, did you drop this compact nuclear device?")
New York Times Aug 20, 2006 FINE CHOICE
QUOTE: With no businesses on the block, the purpose of the loading zone is obviated, and you do no harm in parking there .... you can refuse to exploit this hapless sot, whose fat tips are not gifts freely proffered but symptoms of a real problem ....he wasn't running a travel scam, just pinching pennies at the job candidates' expense.
New York Times Aug 14, 2006 Foster parents getting organized
QUOTE: this refrain is heard across the USA — inadequate support from child-welfare agencies, high turnover of foster parents, meager training in caring for severely troubled children, erratic reimbursement for kids' needs and, most troubling, a bureaucratic deaf ear to foster parents' opinions.
USA TODAY Aug 14, 2006 10 Things Your College Student Won't Tell You
QUOTE: Currently, in 13 million households — up 70% from 2000 — parents are financially supporting children 18 and over, whether they live at home or not. It's a trend that experts don't expect to end anytime soon.
Smart Money Aug 13, 2006 MOM'S OLD FLAME
QUOTE: no action would be required -- or perhaps even possible, if both "Robert" and your father are no longer living -- on anyone's part were you to disclose your mother's revelation .... You are suitably uncomfortable about having attached jumper cables to a drunken driver -- OK, not to the driver but to his car -- and thus abetting drunken driving.
New York Times Aug 06, 2006 HURRICANE HOSPITALITY
QUOTE: You say yes to a neighbor's request to store his insulin in your refrigerator, no to recharging his electric toothbrush. That is, accept necessity, reject luxury and anticipate that saying no will provoke both understanding and resentment .... Your brother cannot be faulted morally for believing what his father repeated throughout your brother's childhood.
New York Times Jul 30, 2006 OFFICIAL LANGUAGE
QUOTE: Your solution, simply to reply in English, is a good way to indicate your language preference, but as you know, you can't compel your interlocutor to follow suit, so perhaps a better response is tolerance .... By firmly making your case to your brothers well before the funeral, you did all a person honorably can.
New York Times Jul 23, 2006 OFFICE THEFT
QUOTE: The criminal-justice system is too blunt an instrument for the social microsurgery you wish to perform, and you have no grandiose "obligation to society" to wield it. Instead, consider how best to serve your practice, your community and the miscreant himself. .... Your friends were not required to remind their opponents of the rules, but doing so would have shown real -- what's the word? -- ah, sportsmanship!
New York Times Jul 16, 2006 SKIN FIX
QUOTE: You should be reluctant to restrict free expression but may require an appropriate appearance at work .... Students often help one another understand assignments, a fine way to aid learning. If that was your son's intent, then his conduct was not unethical, but it was imperfect.
New York Times Jul 09, 2006 Cowardly or Canny? (The Ethicist)
QUOTE: Did his 100-meter dash add to her peril? If not, then ethically it's a neutral act .... It's not that it was ethical to "steal" it; you didn't steal it. You claimed abandoned property, and no reason not to.
New York Times Jul 02, 2006 The Color of Care (The Ethicist)
QUOTE: I admire your inclination to honor a request that would put a patient at ease, but such requests are not exempt from moral scrutiny .... donors should have their money back if they desire (even if they have no legal claim to it).
New York Times Jun 23, 2006 Resolving marital conflict: thermostat wars
QUOTE: Can you and your temperature-challenged mate ever co-luxuriate in the same space? Are you fated to love one another from different lines of latitude?
Bankrate.com Jun 08, 2006 Beware the Lonely Hearts Club Scam
QUOTE: Ladies, beware of men buying drinks in bars -- they may be retired drug dealers trying to recruit you into their life of cybercrime, specifically identity-theft rings.
Washington Post Jun 04, 2006 The Paper Chase
QUOTE: Police...are investigating the apparent theft of thousands of college newspapers that featured an article about a candidate for student-body president who was involved in the accidental shooting death of a friend two years ago.
Washington Post Jun 04, 2006 The Online Laws of Love
QUOTE: Match.com is defending a lawsuit over "date bait" -- the creation of fake flirty e-mails to keep paying customers from canceling their accounts. And Yahoo Personals is defending a class-action suit accusing it of creating phony profiles to "generate interest, public trust and give the site a much more attractive and functional appearance."
Washington Post May 31, 2006 Britain's Goal: Hooligans Don't Get Past the Local Pub: Police Collect Passports to Keep Unruly Soccer Fans From the World Cup in Germany
QUOTE: In addition to barring Britain's most aggressive fans from traveling abroad, police are also keeping an eye on them at home by demanding that they register at a local police station every day England has a game...in a few cases, people are being banned from games because they were drunk, not violent.
Washington Post May 28, 2006 Moscow's First Gay Pride Parade Disrupted by Police and Hecklers
QUOTE: Gay activists who attempted to lay flowers near the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier outside the Kremlin wall and then assemble across from city hall were heckled and assaulted by skinheads, Orthodox Christians and radical nationalists.
Washington Post May 24, 2006 Common-Sense Home Safety
QUOTE: While there are a lot of high-tech ways to keep intruders at bay, keep in mind these distinctly low-cost, but highly sensible, reminders
BusinessWeek May 19, 2006 The Corporate Brush-Off
QUOTE: Who out there has not had the infuriating experience of dealing with rude or indifferent agents of phone, computer, banking, Internet, health care and insurance companies?
Washington Post May 17, 2006 Food for Thought
QUOTE: Miss Manners sees nothing wrong in your desire to protect your food from predators. But since they are your predators, with whom you choose to eat, she suggests a softer approach than your remarks about disliking their picking and poking.
Washington Post May 12, 2006 No Space for MySpace?
QUOTE: A proposed law banning social networks from computers in schools and libraries could block access to a huge slice of the Net -- without protecting kids
BusinessWeek May 03, 2006 The Guesting Game
QUOTE: Probing people about whether they "support the couple" is a disastrous idea.
Washington Post Apr 26, 2006 An Expectant Mother In More Ways Than One
QUOTE: My sister-in-law does not have any sisters or close friends who will throw her a baby shower. My other sister-in-law will be expected to do this, but I don't feel that I should be responsible for it, especially after her comments. She never offered to throw a baby shower for me.
Washington Post Apr 19, 2006 Don't Tarnish That Golden Anniversary
QUOTE: If there is one thing you should have learned in 50 years of marriage, it is not to set up secret tests for those you love. You only succeed in bewildering and embittering them when they unknowingly fail and you go into a funk.
Washington Post Apr 05, 2006 Rude Awakening
QUOTE: Why, just this morning they were all cut off in traffic, annoyed by someone on a cellular telephone and ignored by a member of one of the so-called service industries.
Washington Post Mar 08, 2006 It Doesn't Pay to Bill Your Wedding Guests
QUOTE: Wedding presents are voluntary tokens of affection from people who should care enough about you to put some thought into the selection. They are not intended to be a source of income for the bridal couple to count into their budget and allot as they wish.
Washington Post Mar 05, 2006 Homeward Bound
QUOTE: there are parents who treat their own children like boarders, charging them rent and grumbling about their behavior. And there are children who treat their parents like roommates, expecting them to mind their own business and taking no responsibility for the household in general.
Washington Post Feb 20, 2006 Immigrants' Homeland Burials Shrouded With Costs
QUOTE: Immigrants may follow dreams, ambitions and love to the States, but death often summons them home. Their return can be no less difficult and expensive, as a majority of the new immigrant dead are young and working-class, and few carry life insurance.
Washington Post Feb 19, 2006 The Crass Picture Show
QUOTE: And today's moviegoers consider their films to be interactive. They talk, they shout, they make and take telephone calls, they get up and move around. They eat and drink noisily. They allow their children free range. They offer a running critique. They pick fights with one another. They take up more than their share of seats, putting up their feet, tossing their coats and sprawling over the arm rests. They vilify anyone who attempts to quiet them.
Washington Post Feb 05, 2006 Monsters Inc.
QUOTE: It does not seem to have occurred to management that people have various habits and quirks that become annoying to those who spend significant time in their vicinity...This does not make for a pleasant workforce.
Washington Post Jan 22, 2006 Home Economics
QUOTE: Hoping to furnish one's quarters on other people's budgets is not a proper reason for giving a housewarming party.
Washington Post Jan 10, 2006 A Tale of Two Goof-Off Employees
QUOTE: the Physical Slacker doesn't do what he or she promises to...negatively impacting your output. That's not fair to you. It's materially getting in your way. You have to act.
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