Family & Friends & Interpersonal
Categories underneath Family & Friends & Interpersonal:
- Domestic Abuse / Children's Rights / ...
- Anger Management
- Apologies (Personal)
- Caregiver Burdens
- Compassion / Empathy
- Competition: Interpersonal
- Divorce / Death / Separation Issues
- Etiquette / Courtesy / Civility
- Grooming / Hygiene
- Interpersonal Relations: Other
- Dating / Sex / Chastity
- Promises (Interpersonal)
- Referrals / Recommendations / ...
- Responsibility / Blaming / Fault Finding ...
- Friends / Friendships
Articles and Resources
Date Fairness.com Resource Read it at: Sep 21, 2011 Facebook makes it easier than ever to eavesdrop: The new mini stream feature makes it simple to see what people are saying, even when they might not realize you're listening
QUOTE: any comment you make is potentially open to a new level of scrutiny by all of your peers and followers: casual acquaintances, family members, a boss, a co-worker, a business partner, your pastor....Making matters worse, Facebook doesn't provide much in the way of evident guidance or functionality to keep these privacy barriers intact. You can't easily flip a switch, for example, to prevent a Facebook friend from subscribing to your comments or links.
InfoWorld Apr 15, 2011 Keep Your Thumbs Still When I’m Talking to You
QUOTE: Add one more achievement to the digital revolution: It has made it fashionable to be rude... “When people are out and they’re among other people they need to just put everything down... It’s fine when you’re at home or at work when you’re distracted by things, but we need to give that respect to each other back.”
New York Times Feb 07, 2011 Social Scientist Sees Bias Within
QUOTE: Dr. Haidt argued that social psychologists are a “tribal-moral community” united by “sacred values” that hinder research and damage their credibility — and blind them to the hostile climate they’ve created for non-liberals.
New York Times Jan 17, 2011 Facebook con artists on the rise
QUOTE: Leaving your social network profiles public could leave friends and colleagues at risk of fraudulent acts
InfoWorld Aug 26, 2009 Child bride's nightmare after divorce
QUOTE: Child who got divorce in Yemen struggling to be a child again.
CNN (Cable News Network) Jan 03, 2009 A Rise in Efforts to Spot Abuse in Youth Dating
QUOTE: Her death in 2007 in Indianapolis is one of several stemming from abuse in teenage dating relationships that have spurred states and communities to search for new ways to impress on adolescents — and their parents and teachers — the warning signs of dangerous dating behavior and what actions are not acceptable or healthy.
New York Times Jul 14, 2008 Soaring Caseloads a Risk to Child Welfare, Monitor Says
QUOTE: The District's Child And Family Services Agency had a backlog of 1,690 incomplete cases when a social worker was fired for not having visited the home of a 6-month-old boy who had been reported as being neglected and later died, the court monitor of the city agency said today.
Washington Post Jun 25, 2008 I'm sorry for my bad apology ...
QUOTE: For many people, a promise never to repeat the offense often constitutes the most important aspect of an apology, says Nick Smith, an assistant professor of philosophy at the University of New Hampshire and author of "I Was Wrong: The Meanings of Apologies." But, he adds, promises are just that -- only promises. "The ultimate meaning of apologies, like the meaning of promises, depends on future behavior," Smith says, "and therefore we cannot conclusively judge them at the moment they are spoken."
CNN (Cable News Network) Jun 15, 2008 When Mom and Dad Share It All
QUOTE: There are Marcs and Amys scattered throughout the country, and the most interesting thing about them is that they are so very interesting. What they suggest, after all, is simple. Gender should not determine the division of labor at home. It’s a message consistent with nearly every major social trend of the past three decades — women entering the work force, equality between the sexes, the need for two incomes to pay the bills, even courts that favor shared custody after divorce. And it is what many would agree is fair, even ideal. Yet it is anything but the norm.
New York Times Jun 09, 2008 Too broke to be your maid of honor
QUOTE: It's hard to save for the finer things when you've had to shell out money to be in five weddings in one year, three times as maid of honor... Being a bride's maid or matron of honor is a distinction many women cherish. But it doesn't come cheap. It can easily cost a woman $1,000 or more for the honor of standing beside the bride on her big day, according to TheKnot.com, the leading wedding Web site.
CNN (Cable News Network) Jun 05, 2008 Valedictorian's academic plans threatened by deportation
QUOTE: A high school valedictorian's plans to study medicine at a California state university have run headlong into the federal government's attempts to return him and his family to Armenia.
CNN (Cable News Network) Jun 03, 2008 Judge Orders Sect Children’s Release
QUOTE: The seizure of the children was one of the largest child welfare cases in the nation’s history and provoked charges that the state had overstepped its authority. A court of appeals and the Supreme Court agreed, at least in part, prompting Judge Walther, who had authorized the original raid, to order their release on Monday.
New York Times May 30, 2008 Kicked Out of the Play Group (The Ethicist)
QUOTE: My daughter’s play group consists of children ranging in age from infancy to 4 years old. One mother revealed that she does not vaccinate her son. After much frank but cordial discussion and opinions from pediatricians — some thought she endangered our vaccinated kids; others did not — she felt pressured to leave the group. Did the group behave ethically?
New York Times May 30, 2008 Marriage Partners (Idea Lab)
QUOTE: Faced with a close vote this fall, proponents of the freedom to marry need to find innovative ways for supportive straight couples to express and deepen their commitments. Prior strategies have either asked too much of straights (like asking them to renounce marriage altogether) or, perhaps, too little (like asking them just to do the right thing at the ballot box). There is, however, a middle way.
New York Times May 25, 2008 Checking Out Roommates (Starting Out)
QUOTE: When looking for a roommate to share a house or apartment, twentysomethings are often too trusting of people they meet through, say, craigslist.org or apartment-finder Web sites such as roommates.com and roommateclick.com. Instead, think like a conscientious landlord and consider the legal responsibility of sharing a home.
Wall Street Journal, The (WSJ) May 24, 2008 China’s Rush to Dispose of Dead Compounds Agony
QUOTE: President Hu Jintao and Prime Minister Wen Jiabao have urged rescue workers to save lives “at any cost.” But the scale of the disaster has forced the government to dispose of the dead with little ceremony, closing the door on any opportunity family members have of identifying their kin by sight and upsetting the traditional Chinese reverence for the deceased.
New York Times Apr 30, 2008 Getting Away With It: Researches have now proven what many of us anecdotally knew to be true: Parents are less strict on their younger children.
QUOTE: "As a result, the theory predicts that last-born and only children, knowing that they can get away with much more than their older brothers and sisters, are, on average, more likely to engage in risky behaviors," says University of Maryland economist Ginger Jin, one of three coauthors of the study.
Newsweek Apr 18, 2008 When the Ex Blogs, the Dirtiest Laundry Is Aired
QUOTE: In separation, of course, one person’s truth can be another’s lie. Often the postings are furtive. But even when the ex-spouse is well aware that he or she is starring in a blog and sues to stop it, recent rulings in New York and Vermont have showed the courts reluctant to intervene.
New York Times Apr 17, 2008 Prosecutors: U.S. sailors' marriages a scam
QUOTE: Dozens of young Eastern European women have been accused of marrying U.S. sailors not for love but for the right to stay in the United States. The sailors received marriage benefits they were not entitled to, court papers said...Agents with the Naval Criminal Investigative Service said the sailors were in on the scam, which ultimately cost the Navy about $500,000.
CNN (Cable News Network) Apr 16, 2008 Bleak Stories Follow a Lawsuit on Oklahoma Foster Care
QUOTE: Oklahoma consistently has one of the worst records in the country of documented abuse of children in foster or group homes...All this has exposed many children to lasting psychological damage, including an inability to form emotional bonds, according to the lawsuit, a class-action filed in February by Children’s Rights, an advocacy organization, and several local lawyers.
New York Times Mar 29, 2008 The Curious Lives of Surrogates: Thousands of largely invisible American women have given birth to other people's babies. Many are married to men in the military.
QUOTE: Surrogates challenge our most basic ideas about motherhood, and call into question what we've always thought of as an unbreakable bond between mother and child...But even as surrogacy is becoming less of a "Jerry Springer" spectacle and more of a viable family option for those who can afford it, the culture still stereotypes surrogates as either hicks or opportunists whose ethics could use some fine-tuning.
Newsweek Mar 14, 2008 Idea Lab: Rumor’s Reasons
QUOTE: Journalists typically presume that facts matter: show the public what is true, and they will make decisions correctly. Psychologists who study how we separate truth from fiction, however, have demonstrated that the process is not so simple. And because digital technology fosters social networks that are both closely knit and far-flung, rumors are now free to travel widely within certain groups before they meet any opposition from the truth.
New York Times Mar 12, 2008 Why Do the Wives Stand There, Next to Their Men?
QUOTE: But workplaces and Web sites were nonetheless riveted by the plight of Ms. Wall Spitzer, as many people lamented what they saw as the growing practice of using a wounded spouse for political cover. Some took aim at Governor Spitzer, while others directed their ire at Ms. Wall Spitzer, who was his classmate at Harvard Law School.
New York Times Mar 09, 2008 What Makes People Give?
QUOTE: The results of the matching-gift experiment...spoke to that fundamental question about philanthropy: Why do people give? Is it really to make the world a better place, to give back to the community as a token of gratitude? Or is giving instead about something less grand, like seeing your name on a building, responding to peer pressure or simply feeling good about yourself? To put it bluntly, is charitable giving a high-minded form of consumption?
New York Times Mar 07, 2008 A Plea for Paid Parental Leave (Federal Diary)
QUOTE: Too often, federal employees are forced to choose between their paycheck and their new child, said Rep. Carolyn B. Maloney (D-N.Y.), vice chairman of the joint committee, noting that "even the best-prepared workers face difficult choices when children need their care."
Washington Post Feb 28, 2008 Never Too Young for That First Pedicure
QUOTE: ...if you’re permitting [the "kids getting older younger trend] with your daughter, you are hyper-sexualizing her...you are taking away the play and creating a consumer, and frankly, you run the risk of having one more person who feels she’s not good enough if she’s not buying the stuff.”
New York Times Feb 22, 2008 The Flip Side of Internet Fame: In the age of Google and YouTube, public shaming can turn anybody into a celebrity—or a fool.
QUOTE: "...the Internet is a loose cannon," says ethicist Jim Cohen...Online there are few checks and balances and no due process—and validating the credibility of a claim is difficult...So, then, what's to stop a person from posting whatever he wants about you, if he can do so anonymously and suffer no repercussions?
Newsweek Feb 11, 2008 Avoid Being Duped By Online Dating Sites
QUOTE: ...[online-dating services] are desperate to squeeze whatever profits they can out of their ventures, whether by hiking subscription fees or embarking on even less scrupulous practices...use these six tips to ensure that you're not getting the most out of your money.
Smart Money Feb 09, 2008 Elderly get no presumption of innocence
QUOTE: When we were little, [parents] did what they knew was best for us, even if we didn’t like it. Now that they’re elderly, do we not do the same for them?...no matter how you frame the question...it still has the feel of arrogance, to say nothing of being highly presumptuous, because it still comes down to determining who knows what’s best for someone else...
Boston Herald Feb 09, 2008 Look Who’s Getting Rolled Out of the Bar
QUOTE: When the owners of [a New York bar] recently posted a sign that read “Please, No Strollers"...they did not see it as a declaration of war with the neighborhood’s sizable population of young parents.
New York Times Jan 27, 2008 Man of Mystery: How to drive women wild . . . or maybe just away
QUOTE: The trick to picking up and nailing a woman is being ready, able and willing to lie...lying a little to get what you want is okay. Right?
Washington Post Jan 18, 2008 Anonymity Breach
QUOTE: On [an anonymous] evaluation, a student made derogatory comments about a professor’s sexual orientation.... The university claims the student broke the code of conduct, but if anonymity was promised, is this investigation ethical? My boyfriend began extensive renovations on a house...while he was seeing another woman...I’m uncomfortable with this, particularly because she has stated a desire to resume their relationship.
New York Times Nov 18, 2007 As Owners Feel Mortgage Pain, So Do Renters
QUOTE: There are no exact figures for how many renters have been evicted because of foreclosures, but a survey taken this year by the Mortgage Bankers Association found that one in eight foreclosures was non-owner-occupied. This figure probably underestimates the problem, according to the association, because buildings receive tax benefits if they are registered as owner-occupied. More than one million properties are expected to enter foreclosure this year.
New York Times Oct 20, 2007 Divided Korea Paralyzes Families Torn Apart Long Ago
QUOTE: About 500 South Korean soldiers captured during the war are thought to be alive in the North, with 480 civilians, mostly fishermen, who were kidnapped in the years since, according to the South Korean government. It is unclear how many of the estimated 80,000 civilians who were taken to North Korea during the war may still be alive.
New York Times Jul 25, 2007 Family-Leave Values
QUOTE: Until recently, lawsuits claiming workplace discrimination because of family care-giving obligations were rare...And no federal antidiscrimination statute exists that explicitly protects family caregivers in the workplace.
New York Times Jul 06, 2007 The Pilfering Gourmet (The Ethicist)
QUOTE: Your ad hoc arrangement is a tolerable, if timid, response. Scandal is avoided, and the light-fingered customer pays for what he takes, but you do not prevent his one-man crime wave from persisting into the future.
New York Times Jun 15, 2007 I know my co-worker's evil secrets -- because I was his therapist! (Since You Asked)
QUOTE: I think you have to put away what you have learned about this man through the privilege of your profession and treat him as a person you have never met. Depending on the laws that govern your profession in your area, however, and on the details of his activities to which you have been privy, you may have not only a duty of confidentiality but also a duty of disclosure.
Salon May 31, 2007 The Ethicist: Game-Time Decision
QUOTE: When any of your friends told you that they wouldn't make the game, that was your chance to get their OK for reselling their tickets. .... It is wrong to deceive a patient. If patients can't trust you, how can they be partners in their own care?
New York Times May 30, 2007 The Ethicist: Age Old Problem
QUOTE: You (as well as your siblings) have an ethical obligation to see that your mother is well cared for, a task you’ve shouldered admirably, not a duty to make her your permanent roommate. But I suspect that you were not contemplating leaving her at the curb on recycling day, just lamenting the current arrangement.
New York Times May 13, 2007 The Ethicist: School Openness
QUOTE: There is nothing wrong with your being paid for a job that others do gratis. .... It is reasonable for the school to consider what presentations are appropriate for students of various ages, but not every conclusion is wise. .... Family ties can impose ethical obligations, those of a parent to a child for example, but yours are too tenuous for that.
New York Times Apr 22, 2007 The Ethicist: Work Search
QUOTE: The expert on workplace law whom I consulted confirms that your boss has the legal right to search your bag. But ethics sets a higher standard, placing a value on human dignity, something you need not relinquish on the job. To search someone is to treat him as if he were untrustworthy, if not dishonest.
New York Times Apr 16, 2007 Couch Entitlement: Surprise—men do just as much work as women do.
QUOTE: Everyone from economists and sociologists to Oprah knows that women work more than men. Their longer combined hours, at the home and at the office, stop men from taking afternoon naps on the couch and cause fights that end with men spending nights on the couch. And yet according to new study, those longer hours are a myth, because it's just not true that women carry a heavier load.
Slate Apr 15, 2007 The Ethicist: Patient Privilege
QUOTE: Your surgeon's request was reasonable; her brow-beating you was not. .... Your concern for the privacy of your injured acquaintance is admirable, but yes, you should have alerted those police officers to their serious, imminent danger. Their peril superseded her claims to confidentiality.
New York Times Apr 01, 2007 Caught in a Canine Con: Phony online puppy sales bite the unwary. (Scam Alert)
QUOTE: In the world of puppy swindles, phony websites are usually taken down after a few months, and new ones go up, sites like 2007puppieshome.com, operated by "Dave G" .... These defrauders use stolen credit cards to buy website domains with names like Puppylast.com and Lovelypetz.com and to buy newspaper ads.
AARP Mar 30, 2007 A fellow law student broke my nose and joked about it on Facebook: I am humiliated and outraged and don't know what to do.
QUOTE: you have suffered much injustice and that, as a future lawyer, you have a duty to pursue this in the courts.
Salon Mar 27, 2007 Supreme Court lets stand grandparent-visitation decision: At issue: whether judges violated the constitutional right of Shane Fausey to raise his child free of undue government interference.
QUOTE: At issue was whether the Pennsylvania Supreme Court and other judges violated the constitutional right of Shane Fausey to raise his child free of undue government interference when the judges rejected his authority as a father to determine the appropriate level of contact between his son and the boy's grandmother.
Christian Science Monitor Mar 19, 2007 Partner Adopted by an Heiress Stakes Her Claim
QUOTE: Recently, though, the Watson name has surfaced in a different context, a most unusual lawsuit. It concerns Olive F. Watson, 59, granddaughter of the I.B.M. founder and daughter of Thomas J. Watson Jr., the company’s longtime chief executive; and Patricia Ann Spado, 59, her former lesbian partner of 14 years. In 1991, Ms. Watson, then 43, adopted Ms. Spado, then 44, under a Maine law that allows one adult to adopt another. The reason, Ms. Spado has contended in court documents, was to allow Ms. Spado to qualify as an heir to Ms. Watson’s estate.
New York Times Mar 01, 2007 Scam Alert: Grave Robbery: Even the dead can be victims of identity theft.
QUOTE: Scammers troll through obituaries for names and addresses. Then they buy Social Security numbers and other personal data—such as credit histories—of the recently departed for as little as $15 on the Internet. .... In such cases, surviving family members are unlikely to be held liable for the debt, but they may pay a price—in time and money—to unsnarl the credit and bank records of their relatives.
AARP Feb 22, 2007 Detention Facility for Immigrants Criticized: Organizations Laud DHS Effort to Keep Families Together but Call Center a 'Prison-Like Institution'
QUOTE: The center, which the DHS opened last May, is an unacceptable method "for addressing the reality of the presence of families in our immigration system," says a report written by the Women's Commission for Refugee Women and Children, in New York, and Lutheran Immigration and Refugee Service, in Baltimore, and scheduled for release Thursday.
Washington Post Feb 12, 2007 For teen daters, a cellphone can be an abusive leash: A new study raises concerns about how communication technology can facilitate teen dating abuse
QUOTE: In the survey, conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, 20 to 30 percent of teens who had been in relationships said their partner had constantly checked in on them, had harassed or insulted them, or had made unwanted requests for sexual activity, all via cellphones or text messages. One out of 4 reported hourly contact with a dating partner between midnight and 5 a.m. – in some cases, 30 times per hour. And 1 out of 10 had received physical threats electronically. A much smaller percentage of parents reported that their teens had had such experiences.
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